9:22 Toasts

This is a growing collection of 9:22 toasts written by Smoke Freaks for use at BBQ competitions. Have at 'em! 

(The 9:22 toast is traditionally held at 9:22am or 9:22pm or sometimes both at a BBQ contest. The teams come together as #BBQFamily for a good luck toast before they go head to head in the competition. It's quite the honor to give the ceremonial toast.)

Smoke Freaks Classic AM Toast

 

We came to the fairgrounds in the country of Brown

Where 50 great teams are about to throw down

 

May you have a great cook and get out of the stall

With four perfect turn-ins, winner take all!

 

Good luck to the teams who are smoking in cans

Good luck to the cabinet guys, cooking in pans

Good luck to the offsets, stacks gleaming and tall

Good luck to the guys who plug grills in the wall​

 

It’s 9:22! So good luck to you!

Now slam it and scram,

I got Pork $#!+ to do!

Murphysboro, IL - 10:00 Lucky Beer

 

BBQ people come close gather round
For the 10:00 sermon on these sacred grounds

At this BBQ church built by a man named Mills
Y’all tried that pork steak? Seriously, it kills!

 

Now look around everyone at this BBQ class
As we pause in our battle for those apples of glass

To say good luck to the Memphis teams cooking whole hogs and more
And good luck Kansas City guys who turn in all four

And good luck to the judges, may they reward all your toil
And how 'bout Smokey D - fresh off winning the Royal?

Now go get those apples, but it’s gonna be hard
Cause it’s never a cakewalk here at Praise the Lard!

Arthur, IL - AM Toast

​BBQ people good luck one and all
As we gather in Arthur in the splendor of fall 

But today’s lucky beer goes down bitter and sweet
As we say farewell to the Lukes .. finest people you’ll meet

It’s 5 O’Clock Somewhere cooking for the very last time
It’s a no brainer to work them into this rhyme

They had one special request which we’re honoring now
As we wrap up this toast with a “BEAT FREAKING QUAU!”

Arthur, IL - PM Toast

We raise our glass to Bryan & Kari
With actual barware, and that’s kinda scary

It’s 5 o’clock somewhere and the gang is all here
For one last lucky shot, and probably some beer

Before you retire, know we’ll miss you a bunch
And as for tomorrow, I’ve got a hunch…

That you’ll go out on top
For real, why not win?

I guess you already have
Look at all these friends.

Effingham, IL - AM toast 


To Effingham we came to cook some Q
You want that big Boos Block? Yeah. Me too. 

May your ribs be tender and your brisket be moist
Now pick up that shot glass and give it a hoist 

Now let's slam it on down cuz it's about that time
May you all hear your names ... right before mine

Effingham, IL - PM toast 

What in the world rhymes with Effingham
I don't know, it's a hell of a jam

But I do know this town's got a lotta banks and trains
And in 3 years of coming here, it ain't once ever rained

It's 9:22 and our friends are all here
So we'll slam down some Fireball and chase it with beer

Good luck to the teams who are cooking on drums
Good luck to the pellet poopers cooking easy as it comes
Good luck to the offsets, stacks gleaming and tall
Good luck to the cabinet guys who think they're winning it all

In a few hours time, it'll be time to rock
And find out who takes home that Boos butcher block

The Cheesehead Toast

We came to the fairgrounds in the county of Brown
In the shadow of Green Bay, aka Titletown
(Call and response, Go Pack Go, 2x)

Good luck to you guys who said “go Pack go!”
Good luck to the teams who cook low and slow
Good luck to the teams who cook hot n fast

And may none of you %&#&s come in dead-ass last!

Belvidere, IL - Day 1
​(Held in conjunction with the "Highland Games")

51 of the best damn teams around
Came to cook Q on these lovely grounds

You cooked with heart, you cooked with soul
Bet we’re not as tired as those dudes chucking poles

If you want a GC your food’s gotta hit
So before you cook pork, motorboat that $#!+

Belvidere, IL - Day 2

We came to cook Q in Belvidere
It’s 9:22, so hoist a beer
(Or some Fireball … whatever you have)

Some cooked steak and some cooked wings
But for the rest of the weekend, we’ll smoke some things

(In the voice of Oprah

And may you get a call and may you get a call,

what the hell, let’s all get calls!


Good luck to y’all and good luck to me

Who's gonna win
I guess we’ll see

Kewanee, IL

We came to cook Q in the town of Kewanee
The name rhymes with nothing, except maybe Punanny

But this town was renowned - Hog Capital of the World!
So don’t let your ribs come out nasty and curled

If you want that big trophy, all your food’s gotta hit
When it comes to your pork, motorboat that $#!+

Good luck to y’all and good luck to me
One2 wants a 3-peat, but I guess we’ll just see

Lincoln, IL

We came to Lincoln to cook some Q
So here’s to me and here’s to you

May you have a great cook and get out of the stall
With 4 perfect turn-ins … winner take all

A few hours from now someones head will be swellin’
Who’s going home with that big fat melon?

Westmont, IL - Birthday Toast 

We came to the Westmont Red White & Blue
So here’s to me and here’s to you

May you have a good cook and get out of the stall
With 4 great turn-ins ... winner take all

May you all hear your names but especially this Freak
Cuz the old Gray Wolf turns 50 next week

HOOOOOOWL!!